Top 10 Bowl Games Not Yet in Existence

College football’s championship game is in the books. And so are the 40 other bowl games this season. Now what do we do?

More bowl games, that’s what! Let’s get our priorities in order. Sure, these student-athletes have homework to complete and fake classes to attend. But, more importantly, there are a lot of months in the year without bowl games. That means there’s a ton of sponsorship money and potential revenue still on the table.

And don’t forget: the NCAA is all about generating revenue and, uh, higher education.

There are myriad tie-ins with big companies, and personalities, and prominent days on the calendar that are currently unclaimed in the bowl game landscape. Here’s a list of potential games we could dive into, starting as soon as possible:

The Trump Bowl. Why not? He’s going to have his name on just about everything else.

The Presidential Lame Duck Dynasty Bowl. Hold it every four or eight years, depending on the staying power of the incumbent in the White House. Or, maybe with impeachments, it could be more frequent.

The Independence Day Bowl. Not to be confused with the Camping World Independence Bowl, held each year in Shreveport. Have it on July 4th, and include a nod to the movie classic, with actors Will Smith and Bill Pullman serving as honorary captains of the two squads.

The Presidents Week Bowl. Hey, if it’s good enough for tasteless sales events at mattress stores and car dealerships, it should work for college football. Lincoln would be proud. Not the former President, the car company. And there’s your naming rights sponsor!

The Valentine’s Day Bowl. Brought to you by FTD Florists, Vermont Teddy Bear, and Victoria’s Secret. Because nothing says football like flowers, stuffed animals, and ladies’ lingerie.

The Groundhog Day Bowl. For full effect, it should really be a monotonous series, featuring the same schools every year. Get Bill Murray to do the coin toss.

The March Madness Bowl. What better time to promote the high ideals and diversity of the NCAA? Besides, the Final Four usually takes place in a football stadium anyway. Having the bowl game on a Saturday would still leave plenty of time to assemble the court for Monday night. CBS’ Jim Nantz can call both games.

The April Fools’ Bowl. Sponsored by a network to promote one of its late night comedy shows. This one has James Corden written all over it.

The Elvis Bowl. In Memphis, of course.

The Samuel L. Jackson What’s In Your Wallet Bowl Sponsored by Capital One. The actor is ubiquitous. And this one could claim the record of the longest bowl game title from the ridiculous current leader, the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl.

Quick, let’s fire off this list of ideas to someone important like NCAA president Mark Emmert or announcer Mike Tirico, so one of them can take it and score some more advertising income by running the proverbial pigskin into the end zone. Brought to you by AutoZone.

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