Our Big Fat Geek Wedding

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Beth and I are both first class nerds. So, why shouldn’t our recent wedding have celebrated that fact?

It did.

The cupcake pictured above (and thanks to our friend Kristy for all the fantastic wedding design details) kind of sums it up. We love games. Hashtag games, board games, but especially word games like SCRABBLE.

Exactly how nerdy are we? Well, we both noticed the number value of the oversized tile was incorrect. The “C” is actually worth 3 points in SCRABBLE, not 7. We’re writing a letter to the tile’s manufacturer. Which is why we will have a long and prosperous marriage.

The “C” tile of course represents our last name, but could also stand for chutzpah, the Hebrew word meaning “shameless audacity.” As in, we had brass balls to get married on February 28th in Central New York.

You’ve got to have a sense of humor to do that.

And that good humor was on display before the ceremony even began. As I stood quietly on stage with JP Kidwell, the marriage officiant, and waited patiently for Beth to come down the aisle, my not-so-quiet friend Tom stood up from the seated crowd of 35 or 40.

“Coombsie!” he shouted. “This place is dead!”

I said: “That’s why you got invited, Tom, to break the ice.”

“You look pretty comfortable up there, Coombsie,” said another buddy, Kevin. “Just like one of your radio shows.”

“Well, I have done this before, you know.” And we were off and running.

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The wedding recessional almost got very interesting. There were candles lining the center row of the Kirkland Art Center (a converted Methodist church), and the picture above captures the moment when Beth’s dress nearly went up in flames. The good news would have been that the Clinton Fire Department is literally an Eli Manning bubble-screen toss away.

The evening included funny speeches from stepdaughter and budding YouTube star Jill, who read from a prepared statement she had written on her iPhone, and my buddy Charlie, who wielded the gag shovel he had gifted Beth and I when we first met. For those wishing to purchase wedding gifts for us (or anyone in attendance for that matter), we’re all registered at Dorks R Us. Charlie probably lives there.

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Even the professional photographer who took all these great shots is a dork. When we visited Matt Ossowski in his studio, he gleefully spent about 30 minutes demonstrating all the bells and whistles of the photo editing software he uses on his computer. The coolest effect stretched my face in ridiculous ways to make me look as if I was in front of a funhouse mirror, but somehow superior my driver’s license photo.

So, February 28, 2015 was a day to remember. I tried to postpone it until 2016 and choose February 29 as our big day. That way I would’ve been responsible for anniversary gifts only every four years. Beth loves a good joke more than most, even at her expense. But she wasn’t buying any of my Leap Year bullshit.

Dave Coombs has been a morning radio host for over 30 years and a nerd forever.

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